Chuchi's Blog

I'm all better know. i Told my Bestfriend Gil. He Accepts Me :) Thanks Gil Really Thanks:) i Feel So Much Better Knowing i Told Someone Because it's Like Eatinq Meh ALive. I Still Feel As if i Have To Hidee From My Friends. i Know It's Corny To Think They Won't Accept me I Know They Will (Thanks aqain Gil Lols) But i Think They will Just Feel Awkward. I Am Attracted To Girls And TO Guys lols. Im NOt So Sure If Guys Like That? I Am A Littlee More Into Guys Just A Little. I Admit it Im Not A Virgin To a Female's Kiss. I can say i did enjoy it the first time. NOt as Enjoy But i Dint Think or Say Anything. I Thought i Was just Goinq Through a Stage But THinkinq About it I Am.... Bi-sexual. Is it Somethig To BE Proud of I Have No Idea. IN My Head Saying This is Like Ridicual,making fun of? I JUst Don't Know Yet. I Wanna Tell ME BEstfriends But Uqhh i Hate This Feelinq. In Life i've had to hide so much things. I Remember the day i ot surgery my sister and me fuaght se pushed me to the floor when we got home and my mother was buying a ginger ale. I Smaked Her across the face with my crutch. She fell on the floor and we started punching each other. I Pushed her off me and i started to cry. She's my sister and even though sister's fight i have no idea what cause this. Any How; Me and Gil Are very alike. We Both Have To Be 2 Diffrent people, Way diffrent from what we really are. He has problems with his mom and me with my dad. We are type alike or vvery idk it's up to you Gil but we are both really crazy and love to have alot of fun and adventure. We just everytime we have to be around soemthing we're not we are told to be diffrent don't be yourself. Im afraid of what people say; afraid of judgement afraid of most judgment.Mo ving On To Life. It's been pretty rough trying to what i am supposed to call my "Father". I HAte him SO Much. HE Can't give anyone any chances. He SO Stupid. I've had Moments when i tried to run-away but i just couldn't. i Love my mother too much to do that. I seem So Diffrent from the outside. Outside Me Im Fun,Outgoing,Love-able,funny,whatever you suggest. Though on the inside im none im just very emotional. I Seem Diffrent than emotional. I DO Cry alot. I've Lost People That i shoudn't have lost. So Much Shit go on in the world these days. I feel as f i am in war. My "Father" all he can do is just ake away so much energy from me. It's as if Im 14 at war. I LOve Music Like Madonna,Three Days Grac "etc" i Feel As IF I Have To Hide All Of Thatt! My "Father" Tells ME I Have No Friends all i have is classmates. i DOn't wanna belive that but what else. Friends comeand go. Parents are always there. Well i quess Thats Enough For Today.